How a Job Fairy Writes a Cover Letter
Your Name Goes Here
321 Tastycake Meadows
Windows, CE 00119
(426) 224-4324
spammesenseless@sittingduck.net
Month, Day, Year
XYZ Company
Address, Suite Number
City, State, Zip
Re: Employment Opportunities at XYZ Company
Dear Sir/Ma'am:
Thank you for the opportunity to apply for the position of (position
goes here). I have many years of experience doing (type of
position work). My only reason for living is to perform (type
of position work) for the likes of you. In fact, if you do not
hire me for the position of (position goes here), you will be
making the biggest mistake of your weenie corporate lives. I have
done (similar type of position work), another (similar
type of position work), another (similar type of position
work), yet another (similar type of position work), and (one
more similar type of position work), which are integral to
success at being an (position goes here). I have had (insert
fake amount of years here) years of experience at (this position).
I am a team player who will swiftly rise to Supreme Boss In
Charge Of Everything. Your lives were worthless until I showed up; I
will give them meaning. Pay me unholy amounts of money and
everything will be just fine. I will bring you in 50% under budget,
repaint your houses, cure the heartbreak of psoriasis, and win you
five Olympic gold medals. In addition, I will create such team
spirit and camaraderie that any belligerent jerk bosses will be
overthrown, a la the French Revolution (beheading strictly
optional). You will marvel at my management genius and ooh and aah
over my organization skills. You will worship the ground I walk on.
I look forward to an interview with your company at your earliest
convenience. I will call you within the week to set up such a
meeting. Again, I welcome the opportunity to work for such an
industry leader as the XYZ Company.
Sincerely,
Loser Applicant Name Goes Here For serious follow up letters,
see
Sample Thank You Notes,
Sample Resignation Letter,
Letter of Resignation, or
Cover and Follow Up Letters. |
