12.21.2005

How to Place New Employees in a Proper Department

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs.  Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction.  At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.
  • If they have taken the table apart, put them in Engineering.
  • If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.
  • If they are waving their arms and talking out loud, send them to Consulting.
  • If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.
  • If they are wearing green sunglasses and need a haircut, Computer Information Systems is their niche.
  • If the room has a sweaty odor, perhaps they're destined for the Help Desk.
  • If they mention what a good price we got for the table and chairs, put them into Purchasing.
  • If they mention that hardwood furniture DOES NOT come from the rainforest, Public Relations would suit them well.
  • If they are writing up the experience, send them to the Technical Documents team.
  • If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.
  • If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.
  • If they are sleeping, they are Senior Management material.

posted by Shocking Pink  # 11:54 AM 0 comments  

12.19.2005

Lots of layoffs, yet looking @ worker shortages?

This job market is schizy at best. Still, all the recruiters I've talked to are quite bullish. They foresee a shortage of the best and most skilled IT people, and they're practically drooling in anticipation. It's not a pretty sight. Money to recruiters is like chum to sharks. And they can't wait for the feeding frenzy to begin. I am thinking the fun should commence Spring 2006.

posted by Shocking Pink  # 10:38 PM 0 comments  

About to have a big job boom?

http://www.business2.com/b2/web/articles/print/0,17925,1028254,00.html

posted by Shocking Pink  # 10:34 PM 0 comments  

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