9.7-14.2003
You Still Have To Be On The Lookout For Scams
Ever seen those Home Employment Directory guides listed for sale? "100's of legitimate companies"! "Really work at home"! Here's an excerpt from the very tail end of the document if you purchase it: "Note Regarding Refunds: You have purchased a successful, proven, work at National Home Employment Directory. Unless you try it out for yourself, you'll never know how much money you can earn. Your success is up to you. Don't let this pass you by. You have paid a small fee for this Home Employment Directory containing a wealth of knowledge and priceless working material. The old phrase MONEY BACK GUARANTEE.. DOES NOT APPLY to this concept. Positive thinkers will proceed and make money and get their share. The fact that you purchased the Home Employment Directory is your privilege. Please respect the good intentions of this company by not asking for a refund or try to return what you have received. YOU WERE NEVER OFFERED A MONEY BACK GUARANTEE. You now have in your possession information, concepts and knowledge. This Directory is yours to keep. Countless people have succeeded and so can you!" Gee, sounds like they're on the up and up to me... NOT! Never mind the buyer's remorse laws that are on the books governing a three-day right to change your mind, or the concept of good product for fair price. For a price of $29.99 - $45.00 and up, you get this exact document - click here to read it. A friend of mine purchased it some time ago, sent to me, and asked me what I thought of it. OK, here's my opinion... IT STINKS. These are stale job listings that expired a week or two after they were posted. Sure, the companies are legitimate, but job postings have a time value, like fresh bananas. After a while, those bananas aren't very tasty anymore. Neither are those jobs still open - in about the same amount of time. Problem number one I have with this is that working from home is possible, but it generally takes having established a working relationship with a company over time. Then, they trust you enough to do certain, limited kinds of work from home. Problem number two is that the protocol is that employers bear the costs of obtaining employees. When this protocol is not observed, you can be sure that bad results are sure to follow. Almost all of these "work at home" sites charge the jobseeker in order to sign up - usually in the $29.95 range. I doubt those seekers get much in return.
Site Outage
There was a site outage for a couple of hours this afternoon (9/4). This was unplanned and unwelcome; it was caused by the (soon to be former) hosting company. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused - even though they never will. All the best from the staff of jobfairy.com
Update as of 9/7/2003: The new article for this week will be posted Monday or Tuesday (Tuesday is looking more likely at this point in time). We've been doing some cleanup work and taking other steps to mitigate any future outages. We'll also get caught up with The Rules articles and Hot Skill of The Month postings at that time. Thanks for your patience, The Job Fairies of jobfairy.com
Another one bites the dust...
Obviously, This Is Not For Real, Part II
What I really love is alleged real ads on monster.com that lead you to apply at "work from home" sites... i.e. "Aug 31 SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS & TESTERS WANTED TO WORK FROM HOME Company Confidential US-CO-Denver South" (oh, and they paid extra to have it bolded, so it stands out amongst the listings). When you go to the ad, it's got lots of "technical" specs/buzzwords (all crammed together and lower case) and then the ad says you can work from home. You go to the website to apply, and if you sign up, you are charged; "FIRST TIME VISITOR PROMOTION - Only $29.95!" (marked down from $45.00). Now, if you are a software tester, how the heck are you going to work from home? Any software tester in their right mind knows you have to have an exact duplicate of the production environment in which to test the product. (Do you have a bunch of mainframes, SPARC Stations, or Oracle servers at home? Yeah, I thought so. Me too. How silly I was to ask. Of course you have plenty. That's all us geeks do; collect hardware and run it in our basements.) There is little, if any, working from home, unless you VPN in all the time, and that can be slow. This smells like a scam to me. Why should the jobseeker have to pay for any of this? The employer should bear any and all costs.
On a much lighter note...
The Top 15 Layoff Greeting Cards
Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Al Gore's out of work,
and so are you.
Your writing was great!
Such a way with cards!
Now please leave quietly
Or we'll call the guards.
We all know that you're valuable,
You do so many things,
But we found someone for half your pay
With dreads and eyebrow rings.
Your poems were sublime!
Your work left us gaspin'!
But the prez wants to build
A new condo in Aspen!
Roses are red,
violets are blue.
I wouldn't get sick,
if I were you:
You've lost your job,
and your insurance, too.
Get Re-Employed Soon!
We realize that
on this solemn day,
A part of our company
goes with you.
We strongly suggest
that you put it back.
Signed, the guys in Security.
Don't think of it
as getting older.
Think of it
as dying penniless
after a meal of Alpo
on toast.
You are invited to a layoff!
Date: Today
From: Management
For: Restructuring
Bring: Your belongings
During your times of suffering,
when you could see only one set of footprints,
it was then that you had your feet on the desk
and your lazy a** was playing Minesweeper.
At writing cute poems,
you were the bomb,
But now we suggest:
monster.com.
We hope this friendly greeting card
Will ease your post-job tension,
At least until you find that we
Have pissed away your pension.
In order to replace your work,
We'll have to count on Tom.
We're sure that he can handle
Surfing redhotbuns.com
Your work was really wonderful,
But we have to boost our stock.
We're really sad to see you go --
Please don't rampage with your Glock.
You've been a great employee,
So diligent and true.
But there is no "I" in "our team,"
And now there is no "u."
ANDY ROONEY ON WOMEN
Women over 40 and beyond
"Andy Rooney says, "As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If an older woman doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it's usually something more interesting. An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing. An older woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful relationships" and "commitment." The last thing she wants in her life is another dopey, clingy, whiny dependent lover. Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. An older woman couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They always know. An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Her libido's stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone. Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal and she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her younger cousin could never dream of. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. ANDY ROONEY"
<Note from JobFairy.com: Apology accepted.>
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