8.31.2003

The Great Krispy Kreme Kaper

Ahhh... evil pranks on co-workers. One of the things that makes life worth living and a job worth going to.

There was this company I worked for years ago. A bunch of techies and developers; they loved junk food and we frequently brought in snacks for each other. This was back in the day when Krispy Kreme had just come to Colorado. There were huge lines then and you had to wait a couple of hours just to get in at all.

Every couple of days, one of the techs there swore he was going to drive into work early and pick up Krispy Kremes for the office. Of course these treats never materialized, for one (of course!) really plausible reason after another. So I hatched a truly evil plan. One afternoon, as we were ribbing this tech over the donut drought, I announced that I would bring in Krispy Kreme the next morning. He reacted with much derision; how was I going to be able to succeed where he had failed? Easily.

I went to the Krispy Kreme web site and downloaded some of their graphics. At that time, they didn't have a picture of their box on the site, and when the local news teams had covered the store opening, they'd focused on the donuts themselves and not the packaging. I had a box left over from King Soopers so I could measure how big and how many the logos had to be in order to cover the graphics printed on the box. On the highest quality setting, my color inkjet did the job well.

Armed with neatly cut out logos and a dispenser of double-sided tape, I was ready for mayhem. I left for work much earlier than usual and headed for the closest King Soopers to the office. I bought their largest box of pick-your-own-assortment donuts and headed back to the car. It was time for arts and crafts! I carefully taped the logos over the King Soopers branding and on the front of the box lid. I made sure the coupon for the photo finishing was covered up and I was ready to go.

Waltzing into the office with my box of fresh (but fake) Krispy Kremes, I placed it on the lunchroom table and took out my donut. I left the box propped open slightly so as to entice my fellow techs. Then I told the two techs who gossiped the most that there were Krispy Kremes on the table. I knew they'd get theirs in a hurry and tell everyone else. I could barely contain my laughter. I could hear all the guys gathered around the table, scarfing donuts and commenting on how much more tasty Krispy Kremes were than the other brands. I almost got busted; one of the developers saw the box from the side at a distance and said, "Oh, donuts from King Soopers!" As he got closer, he saw the large logo and said, "Oh, Krispy Kremes!! Cool!" and retrieved his donut.

When my boss came over to thank me for making all that effort to bring Krispy Kreme donuts to the whole office, I couldn't hold in the giggles anymore. I peeled up a corner of one of the logos to show him what I'd done. He sheepishly admitted that I'd really "gotten" them all. We all had a good laugh - and it became part of the "esprit de corps" of our team.

The tech who'd been making promises for weeks eventually came through... insisting that this time, he'd brought real Krispy Kremes. My boss couldn't resist the opportunity to needle him; asking whether he'd merely refilled a Krispy Kreme box with other's donuts and then eaten the good ones himself! The look on that tech's face was priceless.

Evil Recruiter Stories

He demanded to know if I'd sent him a revised resume yet. I hadn't, and had already decided by then that I was never going to. Another agency had asked me nicely for the same information, I'd made bullet points for them about my experience, and I'd sent that in to one of their recruiters. They'd added the information into my resume themselves and had already submitted me. I knew the first recruiter hadn't submitted me yet. They don't until they have a finished resume in the format that they like. So I knew he was playing me.

He wanted to know where else I was interviewing. So I told him Echostar, Verio, and Gateway. Of course I've been nowhere near any of these companies in years. I'm getting much too good at lying to scum anymore, aren't I? He was really pressing me for the names of companies that had contacted me. I waffled.

I knew the job in question was a tossaway; it's the kind of job for which I look qualified on paper, but others with more experience get hired. Plus, it was the kind of company in an industry that hires men, not women.

When I let him know that I thought another company had already submitted me for the same position, he reiterated that he had submitted me first. Then he pressed me again for the revised resume, thereby contradicting his previous assertion. The resume, as written, without the extra information, would not have been sufficient to submit, and he knew it. That's why he was still pressing the matter. I knew he hadn't put me in at all, and I certainly hoped that the other company had.

I hate it when recruiters take your resume, say they're going to submit you, and then they don't. I have never run into a problem with being "double-submitted". Everything's datestamped, so whoever gets you in there first gets it. They don't disqualify you from being considered at all. It's only a problem for the recruiting agency, who usually only gets to submit two candidates per opening (which keeps the volume of resumes down for the employer) , and if you've already been submitted by someone else, then they either lose a slot or have to scramble to replace your resume with someone else's.

I had thought the economic downturn had been enough to get rid of a**holes like these, but apparently not. What a series of Maalox Moments!

New York Job Seekers Fall Prey to Scam

With unemployment on the rise, many out-of-work New Yorkers will follow up on any job lead that seems promising.  But Bronx job seekers who have called a phone number that has been plastered over bus stops around the borough have ended up ripped off rather than hired on.  The scam lures people into calling a number that puts hidden charges on the caller's phone bill.  The number is actually a special type of phone line that can charge callers almost any amount of money for the call.

The charge is not obvious.  The people running the scam do not give callers much clue about their steep fees.  The poster bears fine print at the bottom reading "Information Call NY Metro LATA 19.95." Though the dollar sign is missing, that line constitutes legal notice that callers will be charged $19.95 for a call that most likely will get them no closer to a job.

Unfortunately, there's no law making this a crime.  And as consumers get wise to the fraud, some scammers appear to get even craftier.  Dozens of signs have sprouted on Bronx telephone poles promising low-rent apartments or help with getting credit to those who call a non-540 number. Callers to numbers on those signs get a recording that promises help and then directs them to call a second number - a 540 number.