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6.11.2003
Funny Employee Handbook Entry

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Gee, I don't think that's very funny at all.



6.8.2003
Do you get laid off or fired frequently? I know I do. So here's a handy guide to making sure you survive your resignation, layoff, or termination with your marbles intact. Once you have all your code, your documentation, and your paperwork in order, you're then free to look for a job with all your energy. And getting re-employed as quickly as possible is the name of the game.

To Do

 

When To Do

Code
Copy these to your personal hard drive weekly, up to the week of termination/resignation, and/or right up to end of each development project. It's important to save your code examples for your code library. If you do operations or support, save all your guides and any customized install files that apply. It'll help you hit the ground running the next time.
   
Screen Captures
Get these for your portfolio at critical points in your project or at the end of each project. These, along with code, should be burned to CD or transferred to your home computer if possible. These are good for displaying in interviews.
   
E-mail Archive/Send Home
You should send critical emails home on a daily basis, as applicable; archive e-mail off no less than monthly, transfer a copy to your personal PC. Do this right up until your last day at work. It's crucial to stay on top of this because if you're laid off, you won't get a chance to retrieve e-mail.
   
General Files
You should send home files that you acquire in the course of business no less than weekly. Often you can send files home the day you're laid off (if you have a Hotmail account) even though your company e-mail no longer works. But keep on top of this, because you never know...
   
Interview Clothes And Shoes
Get them repaired or dry cleaned; make sure you have pantyhose (and extras) as soon as you smell trouble and still have a paycheck. It's also good to have your interview suit ready to go in case you have a spur of the moment interview - recruiters could call any time and you want to be ready.
   
Uninstall Applications
No earlier than one week before termination. Make sure you uninstall any applications that use a password, like Yahoo! Messenger, Trillian, or MSN Messenger. If you have copies of personal software or screensavers remove them too. Clean out your browser cache, remove any temp files, go to your temp folders and clear them out too. Don't forget FTP programs which might have saved your settings or those that publish to the web.
   
Remove Things From Office
Check all drawers and file cabinets weekly, and one last time that's no later than the day of termination/resignation; don't expect them to send you anything you are owed. Keep grocery bags in drawers from the day you start the job so that you are mentally prepared to be out the door. Remove anything that is not needed from your cubicle/office as soon as it is no longer needed. If you have to dust it once, it has to go home.
   
Paperwork Of Separation
The day you're let go (or resign), review it before leaving the premises if possible, have a lawyer review it as soon as possible (if you were let go under less than optimal conditions), turn in anything innocuous that needs signed (i.e. COBRA, 401K, life insurance conversion) that same day if possible (make sure you get copies)
   
Final Check
This should be received the day of termination – make sure it has your complete severance, vacation pay (if applicable), etc. Don't leave without it being correct. Be gracious, but be firm. Don't get flustered and let them off the hook. They're hoping that you'll be too embarrassed to fight. Make sure you use up all your sick days before your vacation days; sick days don't get paid out, but vacation days do.
   
Send Goodbye Email
The day of termination, if your corporate e-mail still works. Keep it clean and professional; get others’ emails and IM IDs if possible before leaving. Make a .csv list of all the contacts in your e-mail program and send home (should have been doing this all along), or forward a copy of the company phone list to your personal e-mail every time you get a new copy (easy to do with an e-mail rule)
   
File For Unemployment
Day after termination – can do online – make sure you have your final check in hand showing how much vacation and severance you received - they ask for the amount. Click here to file Colorado Unemployment Online.

Not happy with your (former) employer? Click here to do something about it.

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