2.14.2002

How Many Times Do I Have To Say It?

Companies just do not tell the truth.

Take, for instance, the Aquamarine Fairy. He works at a company soon to be acquired by A Minor Communications Company. Last year, when he went permanent with them, they told him that his department would be retained and that they would be converted to regular employees by the end of the year. Well, that came and went, which should have been Aquamarine’s first signal – a company punting its own self-imposed deadline. The conversion work continued – he put in long hours and did quality work.

Less than a month ago, all the managers and executives had a closed door meeting, after which none of them looked too chipper. Aquamarine wondered what it was all about, but none of them were talking. This should have been his second signal. Usually when there are layoffs, it is mostly amongst the peons, so malaise in the upper ranks indicates serious change.

Day before yesterday, he called me at home at lunchtime – seems that morning, they had had an all hands meeting telling them that his department was to be laid off. They would have individual meetings with their supervisors in alphabetical order to discuss their severance packages and end dates. Aquamarine wanted to know how long he had. His supervisors were telling him that he was so extremely valuable that he'd be there longer than anyone else.

I asked him when the merger was supposed to be finalized. He said the end of the month. So I told him he would be gone by then, or close to. The only reason they wanted him to believe that he was going to be there any longer than that was to ensure his cooperation in transitioning the knowledge base over to the acquiring company's employees. In addition, they did not want him to stop all work on their behalf in favor of scrambling to get another job on company time. I reminded him that his managers wouldn’t care if he didn’t have another job – come the end of the month, they’d pull the rug out from under him whether he was ready or not.

The jobfairy thing to do would be to pay yourself first. Secure another job, forget about your current work obligations, and give as little notice as possible. Do not, under any circumstances, let them know which company you are going to next. Aquamarine had concerns about giving short notice. I reminded him that only his handpicked former colleagues (i.e. friends) would be listed as references and that he would already have the other job anyway by the time this one ended. So, if he controlled the circumstances carefully, who could depth charge him?

Fast-forward a year or so, and he is looking for another job. He has down on his resume that he used to work for XXXXXX Company. Unless a recruiter can remember that they were acquired by YYYYYY Company, who will be able to contact them? Moreover, even if they do, his old supervisor will have been laid off too, and no one will remember him. There is something to be said for plausible deniability…!

MachoPicho (from f*****company.com)
Registered Sinner
re: Look behing your back
Feb 07 2002 06:19AM EST

"The engineers I've generally worked with are generally f***ing clueless. All they can do is steal code snippets off the web and from programming books to integrate in their projects. They understand nothing about systems, networking, or how their products work in the real world. Show them respect? F*** no."

AHA! I suspected as much. Consider that next time you don't think you have enough experience to be a programmer. Or anything else. If they're going to hire someone who doesn't have a clue - it might as well be you.