1.19.2002

Words of Wisdom from Elsewhere

"Posted by "Get a clue", unregistered @f*****company.com
Subject: Keep an eye on your company's finances.
Dec 30 2001 03:49PM EST
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OK, the economy's been bad for more than a year. At this point, it shouldn't come as a surprise to employees when this kind of unfair BS happens. If you work for a public company, read your company's financial statements. Look for words like "right-sizings" and "cost-cutting measures" in the overview of operations your company gives. Where will cutbacks occur? Also look for big losses, etc., as they can signal layoffs. Often in a smaller company, a receptionist or office manager sees every piece of paper. Stop walking by these people every day and start being nice and talkative. These types can tell you EVERYTHING that is happening in an office. Receptionists are in an advantageous position in that they're often disregarded by top managers, but they often -- as I have found -- can offer great insights into a company's financial situations. Particularly when the receptionists also help the office manager. Develop an information network within your company. Make friends or acquaintances in sales, etc. Think of it as an intelligence network. Also, if you think you're in danger, immediately get your resume ready, but never send it out from your work. Systems admin might sort outgoing e-mails into different folders. Often porn surfers get a reprimand, but the job hunters get a pink slip. Don't f*** with your supervisor or get in his/her face. You still need a reference. Hopefully, this is instinctive to you anyway."

It's nice to see that there are others out there in this world with the jobfairy mentality. Although he's wrong about the porn surfers - it's a great excuse to downsize people and not have to pay unemployment, because it's a firing for cause. Ask a bunch of former EDS folks.

In addition to all the other websites you should read on a daily basis, i.e. one news site like N.Y. Times, one tech site like cnet.com, one humor site (doonesbury.com, dilbert.com, userfriendly.org, computerworld shark tank), you should drop in on f*****company.com. I can't recommend them enough. It's completely anonymous, and you'll hear it there first. Whenever the jobfairy has an interview, she goes over to this website and sees if the company is mentioned. If so, she doesn't waste her time. Information without corporate spin... Just be prepared for people's raw, unvarnished opinions. Raw, as in Eddie Murphy-type raw.

the teal fairy works for a certain help desk software company that's doing notso hotso these days. she's loyal to a fault, and has a fairly secure position... but even she is bowing to the inevitable, doing the jobfairy thing, and rewriting her resume this weekend. feeding time at the zoo (a.k.a. the 1st quarter hiring frenzy) commences the middle of february, and she needs to be in it, big time. i think that her company will survive, even if it is in the form of acquisition by another entity, since their products have such a large user base, but i think we can all draw a huge lesson here. SALES. it's king. numero uno. you exist to support it, like we reproduce ultimately for the survival of the species.

whaaaaat? why is the jobfairy blathering on about sales?

because the teal fairy's company got rid of all its sales staff and decided that they would market and sell their product through value added resellers and similar channels.

never, ever do that. if you want a job done right, do it yourself. no one else except the sales staff of your company are going to have enough of a vested interest in the outcome. no third party will be as effective a cheerleader for your products as your own people. of course not - if they fail to sell your product, they've probably sold some other one and they'll get paid anyway. needless to say, teal's company's sales went through the floorboards as a result. ouch.

plus, they're handling layoffs in a manner that disturbs even a hardened, bitter, cynical ol' jobfairy. first, they disable the user accounts. then, when the hapless soon-to-be-former employee tries to log in come the morning, a HR flack taps them on the shoulders and herds them into a conference room. they're then escorted from the building without even being able to retrieve their belongings or talk to other employees. (aaaaah... that takes me back.)

i asked teal what kind of severance package she would get if she were to be among the laid off. she said she didn't know, and hadn't heard from any of her former colleagues what they had gotten. not a good sign. chances are they are getting nothing, and the company is covering its tracks with the clamp-down on communication. a huge alarm bell, BTW, should your own company be engaging in layoffs like these. you need to know what your own personal worst case scenario is.

another one bites the dust...

i love this, i really do... i'm batting a thousand. every blasted employer that has ever screwed me over has gone under or is experiencing terrible problems. a certain financial company is closing up shop in colorado altogether. a certain temp agency that still owes me nearly five grand has done likewise. and i get to turn them in to the IRS, too. joy! from the earliest agencies for whom i temped to the most recent employers i've had to stomach - if they did me wrong, karma came back on them with a vengeance. it's too frequent to be a coincidence - perhaps it's G-d's way of making up to me for a scary and difficult childhood. for the record, i appreciate the gesture. it makes dealing with the sheep pimps of this world bearable. more about my most recent escapade later... it's worthy of submission to the shark tank!